seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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