direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
