I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
