you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
