I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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