Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
