honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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