writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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