Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
