The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
