Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize