They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
You ruined the universe
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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