I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
