So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
