i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take back everything I said about communal showers
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Is Oprah even human
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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