their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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