If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
