i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize
