I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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