I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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