but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
