In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
