I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize