I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
do nipples grow back?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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