I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
