I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
