I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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