I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
