if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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