I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0