girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?