history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
