honey bunches of taint.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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