His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
The air taste purple.
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