This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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