we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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