I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
