That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
You made out with two different species that night
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I have tasted many bathrooms
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
