Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Is Oprah even human
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Randomize
