We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
then he tried to convert me to islam
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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