sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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