I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
The feeling are messing with the penis
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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