I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize