It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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