I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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