The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
