I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
