Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me