Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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