it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now