i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."