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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize