Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Use "feeling words"
Yay
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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