Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
