I need help removing her.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
