According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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