we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
