I seem to have left my pride at pride
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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