My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
