That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Randomize
