Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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