His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I love you. Go after that dick
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
