I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
